I have to learn UNIX code.

I’ve been putting off learning computer programming for years.  It never seemed like something I needed to do – I’m a biology person, not a computer person.  It’s my job to go look at stuff under a microscope and see if it’s glowing green or crawling out of the dish yet.  If I needed something calculated, I could always get Excel to do it, or go find a computer person and make them do it for me.

But the modern era has finally caught up to me and I need to learn UNIX and Perl so I can handle some large sets of DNA sequences in the lab.  The experience has felt something like being airlifted into Japan with nothing but a granola bar and a compass.  But it could have been worse.  I could have needed to learn one of these languages:

INTERCAL

Oh, by head.

Messing with your brain.

Noooooooo!

This one, on the other hand, makes an odd amount of sense:

LOLCODE

I CAN HAS VAR?