Bridge of Birds: A Novel of an Ancient China that Never Was

 

‘Take a large bowl,’ I said.  ‘Fill it with equal measures of fact, fantasy, history, mythology, science, superstition, logic, and lunacy.  Darken the mixture with bitter tears, brighten it with howls of laughter, toss in three thousand years of civilization, bellow kan pei – which means “dry cup” – and drink to the dregs.’

Procopius stared at me.  ‘And will I be wise?’ he asked.

‘Better,’ I said.  ‘You will be Chinese.’

Plucker, by Brom

Sick and twisted Toy Story.

I do have to start off with one nitpick.  The author of this book is primarily a visual artist, and it shows in the text.  But… just wait till I tell you how this goes.  A boogeyman from Africa has gotten into this little kids’ room.  It’s picking off his toys one by one and eating their eyeballs, and when it’s done, it’s going to steal the kids’ soul.  Lucky for them, the housekeeper moonlights as a voodoo priestess.  She takes Jack in the Box (our hero), sews a snake heart into him, and sets him off on a mission of bloody vengeance.  How cool is that?

The Year 2021 According to The Year 1968

I just finished reading Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?  Don’t get me wrong – he’s an eerily good science fictionist.  His examination of the blurry line between real life and artificial life is as relevant today as it was forty-three years ago (and anticipates genetic engineering).  But some of the details of life in the year 2021 are hard to predict that far in advance.

According to Androids, ten years from now,

  • We will have flying cars.
  • We will have Skype.  (Yeah!)
  • People with mental disabilities will be referred to as “chickenheads.”
  • There will be no women in positions of power.
  • The Soviet Union will come back.  People will care what the Soviet Union thinks.
  • We will have the technology to produce android brains so sophisticated that they are nearly indistinguishable from human beings.
  • Police investigators will store information about these androids on pieces of paper.

Songbird: A Steampunk Fairy Tale

Professor Zebulon Volt receives the assignment of a lifetime: to create a mechanical nightingale that will pull Queen Victoria out of her depression.  The real world calls out to him as he pursues his obsession with creating artificial life.

A steampunk riff on Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Nightingale.”  I’ll give you three guesses whether Texas is its own country in this world, but that doesn’t matter.  Songbird is gorgeous.  I was surprised how much dance was incorporated into a performance that was billed as a play.  The machines, the toadies at court, even the prostitutes on the Victorian streets all swirled around each other like the players in a ballet.  And the costuming, of course, is beautiful.  One of the tenets of steampunk aesthetic is attention to detail, from the Professor’s artificial hand down to Queen Victoria’s brooch.

The show’s still running until the 25th, so if you happen to be in the Twin Cities area, check it out!  Upright Egg Theater Company for more information.

Imajica: What.

It’s been a while since I’ve done a book review on Steam Trains, but this one’s another doorstopper.  It’s the dark fantasy epic Imagica, and I almost don’t know what to say about it.

The plot is … well … the plot is not the point.  This is Clive Barker we’re talking about.  It goes something along the lines of there are other dimensions out there other than our own, and our hero and heroine (and our third character who is an it – it’s a long story) must go on a quest to save the cosmos from being ripped apart.

But the plot is most definitely not the point.  You read Clive Barker to immerse yourself in his weirdness.  Imagica is a disturbing rhapsody of magic, doppelgängers, bizarre sex, murder, theology, and oceans that make men pregnant.  Oh, and God is an evil fetus-city.  What?

Cookies that Wound Up Being Cake

Don’t ask me how this happened.  I followed the recipe for a batch of bar cookies – a recipe that I’ve used before, mind you – and the dough came out as dry and crumbly as pie crust.  Did an extra cup of flour sneak in while I wasn’t looking?  I added some milk to moisten it up, and somehow the result was sheet cake.  It was tasty sheet cake, though.

Is it a bar cookie?  Is it cake?

Cake

  • 1 cup butter
  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tsp. vanilla
  • 1.5 cup white flour
  • 1.5 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • milk as needed

Frosting

  • 1 tbsp. butter
  • 1 cup chocolate chips
  • 3 cups marshmallows

Preheat oven to 350°.  Cream together butter and both sugars, then stir in the eggs and the vanilla.  In a separate bowl, mix together the baking soda, salt, and flours, then add to the butter/sugar/egg mixture.  Stir in mix-ins as desired (I used baker’s chocolate and shredded coconut.  Or you could do chocolate chips.)

Bake at 350° for about 45 minutes.  Poke the middle of the cake and see if it’s springy.  Let cool completely.  Then combine the three frosting ingredients in a bowl and microwave until melted, stir, and spread on top of cake.  Let that cool, then enjoy!

Speculations Reading with Naomi Kritzer

Dreamhaven Books is a very cool place. Looking for a Doctor Who action figure?  You’ll find it there.  That’s not to mention a plethora of books and zines with a focus on the Twin Cities’ local literary scene.

Friday I was lucky enough to go to a reading there with Naomi Kritzer, author of Fires of the Faithful and Turning the Storm, and the Dead Rivers trilogy.  She recently self-published a collection of short stories, Comrade Grandmother, on Kindle.  She read from one of her current novels on illegal immigrants from another dimension and everybody had a good time.  Check out Dreamhaven Books at http://www.dreamhavenbooks.com/ and Naomi’s work at http://www.naomikritzer.com/.