You Know You’re a Millennial When…

  • You can remember before the Internet.  Sort of.
  • The letters USSR hold about as much menace as BLT.
  • You don’t need a TV because you can just watch TV on your laptop.
  • Social Security is something other people will get when they retire.
  • You have fond childhood memories of Tamagotchis, My Little Pony, and Power Rangers.
  • A European country declaring war on … another European country?  What’s up with that?
  • Harry Potter was the same age as you when the books came out.
  • Your parents keep going on about this “Gilligan’s Island” thing.
  • Every once in a while, you’re struck by the strangest feeling that Kindle books are more normal than hard-copy books.

Baked Beans Enhanced

This is kind of like a Hamburger Helper for a can of baked beans.  And it’s dead easy.

  • Boil some barley, rice, pasta, or grain of your choice up in some stock.
  • Throw in a can of baked beans (get a kind with a tomato-flavored sauce, like Bush’s Homestyle beans).  Also throw in a can of diced tomatoes.
  • Bring back to a boil.  Salt and pepper to taste.

You’ve got a lovely stew that’s fancier than just a can of baked beans.  Good served with cheese on top.

Guards! Guards!

The first time I started reading this book, I didn’t get it.  I gave up in disgust when I got to the point where the Librarian was an orangutan.  Real fantasy wasn’t supposed to be absurd!  It was supposed to have magic spells in it!

Only the efforts of many friends singing Terry Pratchett’s praises finally convinced me to pick it up again.  Now I realize the guy is freaking brilliant.  Discworld still doesn’t make a lot of sense, but the fantasy isn’t the point, it’s the characters.

Guards! Guards! is about guards.  Those faceless people who get killed off in droves in your typical fantasy story while the readers yawn.  Only these guards get names.  Not only do they get names, but they get backstory, and character development, and a romantic subplot.  They even get to save the day.  Terry Pratchett focuses a lens on our foibles and some of the less admirable aspects of human nature.  Ankh-Morpork doesn’t sound like a place I would like to live.  And yet, while optimistic would be too strong a word, Guards! Guards! is eminently hopeful.

And who could resist going all fangirl all over Commander Vimes?